this boy's exhausted

(updated, monday march 19)...ok, maybe not so much. thankfully all is well and i've recovered my gem. funny how that made for my best night of sleep in a week.

****
so after 7 months i think i might be single again ('m honestly not sure...i mean, i hope not though i guess, if you don't know, then you are), and sadly it's not of my choosing. no details here as i'm not about laying that much bare. suffice to say that it's something i thought could be worked out, as working things out is part of any relationship if you really want the relationship to last.

obviously the main reason i'm sad is because i thought i'd found someone who i clicked with on enough levels -- tempermentally, activity-wise, politically, and so forth -- that it would go a long way. and that's tough to do as the years pass. for those of us past the age of 35, there's an aphorism about dating:

single people over 35 are like parking spaces -- the best ones are almost always taken and most of the rest are handicapped.

i thought i'd gotten exceedingly lucky and found a gem of an untaken space.

so now i not only don't have the hard-to-find gem, but i've got to start circling the block again. trouble is, i don't know that i've got it in me right now. i'm not sure that i can face another round of first-dates, some blind, some not. yeah, there's a certain rush to it, but it can also get soul-crushing real quick.